Tenderly 6: Pupa

It’s a curious thing to want to suffer a grueling grub’s fate
Just to feel the fluttering fancies of a fly fulfilling flight
No one stops to wonder if the chrysalis’s onerous wait
Is worth the risk of staying up well into the dead of night
Worrying about emerging out of my only refuge
My sanctuary, where I’m safe from my own deluge
Of tears, my thoughts are as confusing and unclear
My outward emotion towards you is just as insincere

It must be love then, for me to retreat
And let you go when you clearly should
The mistakes of my past, I will not repeat
But it’s not because of some greater good
I’ll do it because I think I should do my part
Any affection from you is all I could possibly take
Therefore, I will deny myself of expressing my heart’s
True emotions. Perhaps it really is for my own sake

Your true loved one, I will not witness
I want to let you have your happiness
In peace, save for my heart breaking
Oblivious to my love that’s forsaken
Though if you see my cheeriness
This concerted effort that I’m making, I’m faking
For I won’t show you the side of me that’s aching
there’s no mistaking, that I feel like I’m wasting away,
every waking moment that you’re taken

It seems so natural then, for the larva to be needy
To be cautious of its surroundings and latch on
And for the beautiful butterfly’s love to be fleeting
It must leave its chrysalis with reckless abandon
But for what purpose does my poor pupa serve
If you’re not the one I will attach myself to?
In the place of another is not a fate I deserve
How ever will I know if my love for you is true?

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