Anaesthetic 2: Nocturne

The days I can’t find. I’ve looked;

I cannot see beyond the pillow.

I’ve tried and tried, but in my dreams

Are my dreams; My aspirations are of sleep.

During the day fall is my night rise,

Wakefulness is my fight, my solemn right,

and my struggle, what trouble.

The musings of malcontent

Infesting my consciousness

Like the nightcrawlers writhe.

Beneath my feet, the centipedes,

And all other things that impede

hide under the folds, nooks and crannies

of the darkest parts of my being.

Above me, the moths breed

In my fleeting thoughts of recluse.

Within my eyelids, I find refuge

 And my only respite is when

The day stays away and my night stays night.

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Semblance 7: I, Apart from You

I want to stand by You again,

But my legs have failed me.

Without hope, I cannot stand

The sight of myself. So lonely,

I want to feel like myself again.

My thoughts of You yield no answers,

To be separated from You, is worse still.

When that feeling of closeness wavers

Without it, I’ve neither hope, nor will.

I won’t be able to overcome my gravity

For my legs are aching with numbness

And my heart is heavy with emptiness,

The weight of its despair gives way.

I cannot hope to stand tall without You

Without your strength I’m unable to be.

To venture forth, I can no longer move.

I am hindered, trapped by my inability.

I want to hope again. I can’t imagine

Which is worse? To be truly alone?

Or to be forever waiting? I’ve known,

For You, I will be eternally patient.

It is You, I want to stand by again.

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I’ve been trying to use fewer regular rhyme schemes in favor of something more irregular. The stanzas that slightly alter the rhyme scheme are meant to bring attention to specific lines. The clustered rhymes kind of naturally came out when I originally drafted the poem, so I stuck with the format rather than trying to make everything rhyme in the ABAB format for each stanza. Aside from all that technical stuff I wanted to play around with the significance of how far and close the ‘You’ and ‘I’ are from each other.

The short story is nearing completion, it is basically in the rewriting and editing stage. I am aiming for before the end of March. I am also considering arranging it with some folks to read it live, so if anything happens with that, I will announce it in the next post.

~Mari

Semblance 5: Her Cloudy Eyes

A look into her eyes could calm the worst storm,
But often, those eyes are the most cloudy.
Reflections of her mother’s mood, the tears form
Droplets, they drip into puddles of sympathy.

These eyes, they can ease a spirit and warm
The coldest of hearts. She knows she must carry
The burden of two or more. Her family torn.
Her heart frayed in strands, yet she still worries.

A vacant stare, still full. Vibrant, but worn
Down by constant pressure and scorn. So lonely…
A semblance of serenity, her smile adorns
Her face, such melancholic jewelry.

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Out of this set of poems, although it is quite brief, this one is a personal favorite. This particular poem illustrates a clearer picture of the subject of these poems. She has her own problems and hardships that she must face day to day, yet she still wears a happy face, like a piece of jewelry, whether it is truly for show or not. Sometimes, the most beautiful and striking pair of eyes can paint a vivid picture of their joys and hardships.

Working on some non-poem stuff in the meantime, so updates might slow down quite a bit as I work on longer projects. Next project is gonna be about “The Jacket” project that I’ve been preparing for.

~Mari