Tenderly 7: Ask Not

It’s my emotions swerving, I’m drowning in this torrent
Make no mistake, it’s not the rejection that’s unnerving,
Why do I feel that my behavior towards you is abhorrent,
Undeserving of my sentiments that appear to be self serving?

These questions swirl around as my thoughts
They taunt me, the regret it haunts me endlessly
And I want to say that I love you lots and lots
But those are just thoughts of wanting you beside me

Only roused to my feet by a promising situation
When I think of you, I don’t wish to lift a finger
I go numb, the venomous stinger of infatuation
Pierces my heart as my love for you lingers

Even when I know, my heart will be left in tatters
Are you sure this is really how it has to be?
In my mind, this is the only question that matters,
If we can’t just be friendly, then will you love me?

How am I supposed to feel?
What am I expected to do?
How do I know if my love real?
It’s often too good to be true

Do you know what I want? I want you to stay,
I want you to say that it’s going to be okay
Hold my hand, so my hurting will go away
Why, oh why do I have to feel this way?
The more times that I curse it
The worse that it gets
The more I try to ignore it
The harder it is to forget
The more questions I ask
The more I’m going to regret.

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Tenderly 6: Pupa

It’s a curious thing to want to suffer a grueling grub’s fate
Just to feel the fluttering fancies of a fly fulfilling flight
No one stops to wonder if the chrysalis’s onerous wait
Is worth the risk of staying up well into the dead of night
Worrying about emerging out of my only refuge
My sanctuary, where I’m safe from my own deluge
Of tears, my thoughts are as confusing and unclear
My outward emotion towards you is just as insincere

It must be love then, for me to retreat
And let you go when you clearly should
The mistakes of my past, I will not repeat
But it’s not because of some greater good
I’ll do it because I think I should do my part
Any affection from you is all I could possibly take
Therefore, I will deny myself of expressing my heart’s
True emotions. Perhaps it really is for my own sake

Your true loved one, I will not witness
I want to let you have your happiness
In peace, save for my heart breaking
Oblivious to my love that’s forsaken
Though if you see my cheeriness
This concerted effort that I’m making, I’m faking
For I won’t show you the side of me that’s aching
there’s no mistaking, that I feel like I’m wasting away,
every waking moment that you’re taken

It seems so natural then, for the larva to be needy
To be cautious of its surroundings and latch on
And for the beautiful butterfly’s love to be fleeting
It must leave its chrysalis with reckless abandon
But for what purpose does my poor pupa serve
If you’re not the one I will attach myself to?
In the place of another is not a fate I deserve
How ever will I know if my love for you is true?

Tenderly 5: Perfect

I know that I’m not perfect
Perfect is not something that I can do
I knew that I could never reach it
When I finally turned twenty two

I’m not supposed to be perfect, I’ve realized
It’s like love is far away, never to be found
One day I’ll love like I’ve always fantasized
Life’s rotating door, spins round and round

Impossibly guilty is how I feel
So I always try my best to be good
How can I know my feelings are real?
I’ve never once understood

My goal is to make everyone smile
And hear their story if they had one to tell
But today I wanted you to feel worthwhile
But when I do it doesn’t always end well

Everything seems to disappoint me
And I feel it about me the most
I’ve always wondered how it would be
If I just *poof!* Turned into a ghost

There’s plenty I’d want to forget about
What about me would you remember?
Like the homeless man I decided not to help out
Or my hopelessly broken heart in November

I know that I’m not perfect
Perfect is not something that I could do
I knew that I could never reach it
Even when I think of you

Tenderly 4: Little Larva

When the larva hatches please let it live.
It is my Love to you, squishy and sensitive.
Just because it’s gross, with not much to give,
Doesn’t mean I can’t make the most of it.
It is frail and pale, so nurture and protect it;
It might not live long if you leave it undetected.
The larva’s last day approaches, the chrysalis,
A time when Love’s tender touch diminishes
Sensations of dullness render us vulnerable.
Love’s metamorphosis, a trial most crucial,
Can create something quite so beautiful.
I can only guarantee with each passing day
That my Love will survive, it is here to stay,
But as I suspected, you are as kind as can be.
You sheltered the lonely little larva in your tree
Safely above the threat that any Love would fear.
The thread my Love could bear for you my dear,
A silken tapestry for you and me to cherish,
Even if this lucky little larva were to perish.

Tenderly 3: {lo(meyou)ve}

my love told me,

    “you’re delicate as a daisy”

i’ll say so,

(me?)

i’m as pretty as can be!
i know so in my heart,
that with any amount of luck
there’ll be no need for me to

pluck

m y p e t a l s a p a r t
without your sunshine
i

might

wilt

away

so shine your rays; i’ll grow back, okay?

no thorns,for you.
oh honey,for you,i’ve fallen.
my love (for you)
tastes sweet as pollen
kisses soft as heather
weathers any weather
touchestendertogether

my love, truly i endeavor
to be your flower forever… and ever…

Tenderly 2: Sleepy Days

I’m awake, it’s the last day!
I better get ready so I won’t be late
I can’t think of a better way
To spend the day with my friends and play
Just like how I wished it was everyday

Just woke up and it’s still morning!
Today’s the first day of spring…
Break? Sorry, I was busy thinking
Of all the fun I’m going to be having
Just like how I wished it was everyday

I slept in! Doesn’t that feel great?
No homework to do, no way to be late.
First thing today is the lunch that I ate
Until there was nothing left on my plate.
Just like how I wished it was everyday

Oh… do I have to get up so soon?
What? It’s already past noon?
But there’s still so much left I want to do
Still plenty of time in the day, that’s true
Just like how I wished it was everyday

“Today’s the day I stay in bed.”
As the fluffy pillow muffles the words I said
Dreams of sleepy days still in my head
I can’t think of what I would be doing instead
Just like how I wished it was everyday

Tenderly 1: Your Seat

Tea, cake, laughs.
Everyday we spend in glee
That’s all it really takes
To decompress from math.

“See? Take a photograph!”
This is how much fun it can be,
When we’re here to play.
The memories we can make
In just a year and a half!

“Look, hey! Someone new!”
“Have you read this book?”
“Tell me about your day!”
“It sounds like lots of fun,
I’m sure you had much to do.”

Took away one or two…
Chairs, “I guess she’s off the hook,
I really shouldn’t be afraid…”
“I know tomorrow she’ll come
It’ll be just like before!”
“I hope so too!”

“Just wow, really? No kidding!”
“You have to tell me, you must!”
“Yes really, I’ll show you now!”

“No need to worry”
“Oh?”
“She’s visiting the city.”

Is there something I’m forgetting?
When I see all of us come and go
It just feels like such a pity
I can no longer see how
It used to be with just us.
“Oh wow, really? No kidding…”

And I wouldn’t have had a clue,
(It’s too hard to ignore),
That I would miss you a ton.
When you went on your way,
Something inside of me shook.
“How many more? One or two?”
“Hey, look! Someone new!”

In that year and a half,
It takes all that I have:
The memories we used to make,
The laughter, tea, and cake,
To remind me how fun it can be,
Whenever your seat was empty.